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Drastic Measures

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Midweek HASAY Thoughts

I thought I'd write a little midweek HASAY post because I'm feeling rather like myself again.

This morning, instead of attending a weekly BNI meeting, I choose to make love to my toilet instead. I have no idea why I woke up feeling so upset in the stomach. You see, everyday since last Friday, I have been working out hard. Yeah, hard. No more wimping around, whining that I'm overweight and thick around the middle. Just getting to the gym, jumping rope, lifting weights, whatever.

And, I have been eating smaller portions of good foods and limiting my alcoholic drinks, too. I did not want to get too depressed, so on purpose, I did not step on the scale either. Yet, this morning, I hop out of bed and I feel all dizzy and run to the bathroom for a little one-on-one, if you know what I mean. Here's some things I discovered during this session:

The paint job behind my toilet looks like crap. (I hate the word 'crap', so the wall must really look bad!);

Maybe you should take your cell phone with you to throw up so you can text people to know your whereabouts during sessions;

I tried to imagine just how "sick in the head" you would have to be to resort to throwing up or purging as it's called while trying to loose weight. It's one of the most miserable feelings a person can experience.

I think the most unfortunate thing is that I did not do any exercise today because I still feel somewhat weak in the stomach area. Let's hope I can forget all about being sick and jump right back in tomorrow!

Monday, January 26, 2009

What Makes You Motivated to Diet and Exercise?

Living in Arizona in January and February is quite nice; you put a sweater and coat on to walk your dog in the morning, strip down to a bathing suit to layout at noon and by evening, you might need to throw on a sweatshirt to avoid a little chill!

It's also a fun time to be here with all the unique events that occur when we have so many out-of-towners visiting.

One such event is the FBR Open Golf Tournament. It's not one of the truly prestigious tournaments like the Masters but it is known as the largest party and probably the most fun (for the attendees anyway!) of all the tournaments. Last year, just on the Saturday alone, there were 124,000 people who attended. That's more than any of the other tournaments' attendance for a whole week's worth of golf.

What does this have to do with HASAY and dieting, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. The tournament is a huge motivational tool. This event seems to bring out the most beautiful of all beautiful people by the thousands. Every one's game seems to be on. It can be really intimidating, to tell you the truth. (I would take pictures for you, only they are really strict about not letting in cameras or cell phones). And yet, it is making me eat smaller portions last week and this week. And, I am going to the gym or hiking daily. Not that a couple of weeks is really going to help that much, but it's not hurting either. So, thank you FBR Golf tournament for keeping me moving and trying not to be a fatty.

Original HASAY weight: 135 pounds

Current Weight: Still holding at 129 pounds

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Little White Lie

Don't you get a week off from the HASAY diet and the HASAY reporting the week after you write the guest post for Casey? I thought I read that in the terms and conditions. What, you say there are no terms and conditions?

Oh that's right, well, I think I heard about getting to skip one week from, umm, Jenn at Steenky Bee. Oh, maybe not.

Maybe I'm just a lazy piece of ass (larger than life) and have the guts (also larger than life) to admit it.

So there. See you next week.....

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Monday, January 12, 2009

HASAY Guest Post Today

My little guest post is over at Casey's fantastic blog called 'Half As Good As You'. But before you race over there to read my carefully thought out words of wisdom on dieting, I have a question for all of you who are not yet participating in this HASAY diet effort:


Okay go.

You can come back and read my other pages when you're done.

Actually, you are personally invited to come by and visit me every day this week. I would love to have you (and you can take those words in any way you can imagine. I'm just that nice). I love your company and yes, it does sound like I'm begging. I do have my manners, y'all. So,

Please come by more often.....and thank you!

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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Do Not Read This Post if your Stomach is Weak

Over the Christmas Holidays, my whole family decided to try the 'Stomach Flu Diet Game'. Yes, it's kind of like when the family gathers around the kitchen table to play "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" or do the daily crossword puzzle, or play "Monopoly", only it's a lot less fun.

The diet/game began when my Mom and Ed flew from Florida to Phoenix to visit us for the Holidays. One of the passengers had tired of the game and decided my Mom might want to play, so he/she passed it on to her. It's easy enough to transfer as there are no parts to lose and no board to play on. The rules come to the participants automatically. And the game begins almost immediately after it is transferred. Approximately 40% of all players chose the airplane to "give the game away".

Perhaps your family is in need of some quality together time and would like to play this game, so I will share our family's RUN at this fun, family activity:

First, everyone should sit down and have a big, family dinner that includes wonderful, traditional dishes and something dark in color to drink. My family chose a delicious red wine from Napa Valley. It's best to have seconds on the items you love the most.

Next, the player who was transferred the game will feel their stomach turn upside down and inside out and they should run, not walk to the nearest bathroom. Player number one reserves bathroom number one for the next 48 hours. Each player should count the remaining bathrooms in the house at this time, as this will become an important fact later in the game. Please note: this game can be played with partners or individually. If you select the partner-style, partner number one should follow player #1 into the bathroom, hold their nose and be prepared to clean up, hold partner's hand and generally be supportive to the person throwing up over the pot.

Round Two: Each of the remaining game players boast about how great they feel and how they rarely get sick to each other. Points are made by looking good and having color in your cheeks while discussing how many times they heard player #1 get sick. Another delicious meal should be prepared adding some body's favorite dessert at the end of the meal. Players # 2 and #3 chose the bathrooms they wish to spend the next 24-48 hours in. Bonus points can be made if they can prove that "it" has come out from both ends, (but you may find the points aren't worth it).

Round Three: The remaining players #4,5 and 6 realize that they are now only 1 bathroom left in the house and they must try new schemes to avoid being the next players stuck in a bathroom or left being sick without a bathroom to use. Washing hands repeatedly, avoiding contact with each other and eating bland, white-colored foods all day are what most players try at this stage in the game. But, it's too late, one player must go down! Player number one assists with the game by sharing how many pounds they lost by throwing up 5 times during the evening. Player #2 chimes in with, "I'm feeling so much better after being up all night", or "I'm never eating meatloaf again" to the remaining game players.

There is no winner but everyone gets to play. The last remaining player can give this game away to someone else or chose to let the 'game bug' linger in the house for someone to pick it up at a later date. (We chose to let the bug linger until our next house guest arrived several days later). And then the game starts all over.

The end result: each family member/player loses approximately 4.5 pounds and countless hours of sleep and most of their dignity. Most family traditional meals will never be served again and the house will need to be scrubbed from floor to ceiling with the strongest products sitting on the grocery shelf.

I cannot recommend this diet game to anyone I care about. Even going to the gym and sweating and panting is more fun that this long, drawn-out game!

Original HASAY pounds: 135 pounds

Current weight: 129 pounds ( and a very weak stomach!)

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