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Drastic Measures

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Do Not Read This Post if your Stomach is Weak

Over the Christmas Holidays, my whole family decided to try the 'Stomach Flu Diet Game'. Yes, it's kind of like when the family gathers around the kitchen table to play "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" or do the daily crossword puzzle, or play "Monopoly", only it's a lot less fun.

The diet/game began when my Mom and Ed flew from Florida to Phoenix to visit us for the Holidays. One of the passengers had tired of the game and decided my Mom might want to play, so he/she passed it on to her. It's easy enough to transfer as there are no parts to lose and no board to play on. The rules come to the participants automatically. And the game begins almost immediately after it is transferred. Approximately 40% of all players chose the airplane to "give the game away".

Perhaps your family is in need of some quality together time and would like to play this game, so I will share our family's RUN at this fun, family activity:

First, everyone should sit down and have a big, family dinner that includes wonderful, traditional dishes and something dark in color to drink. My family chose a delicious red wine from Napa Valley. It's best to have seconds on the items you love the most.

Next, the player who was transferred the game will feel their stomach turn upside down and inside out and they should run, not walk to the nearest bathroom. Player number one reserves bathroom number one for the next 48 hours. Each player should count the remaining bathrooms in the house at this time, as this will become an important fact later in the game. Please note: this game can be played with partners or individually. If you select the partner-style, partner number one should follow player #1 into the bathroom, hold their nose and be prepared to clean up, hold partner's hand and generally be supportive to the person throwing up over the pot.

Round Two: Each of the remaining game players boast about how great they feel and how they rarely get sick to each other. Points are made by looking good and having color in your cheeks while discussing how many times they heard player #1 get sick. Another delicious meal should be prepared adding some body's favorite dessert at the end of the meal. Players # 2 and #3 chose the bathrooms they wish to spend the next 24-48 hours in. Bonus points can be made if they can prove that "it" has come out from both ends, (but you may find the points aren't worth it).

Round Three: The remaining players #4,5 and 6 realize that they are now only 1 bathroom left in the house and they must try new schemes to avoid being the next players stuck in a bathroom or left being sick without a bathroom to use. Washing hands repeatedly, avoiding contact with each other and eating bland, white-colored foods all day are what most players try at this stage in the game. But, it's too late, one player must go down! Player number one assists with the game by sharing how many pounds they lost by throwing up 5 times during the evening. Player #2 chimes in with, "I'm feeling so much better after being up all night", or "I'm never eating meatloaf again" to the remaining game players.

There is no winner but everyone gets to play. The last remaining player can give this game away to someone else or chose to let the 'game bug' linger in the house for someone to pick it up at a later date. (We chose to let the bug linger until our next house guest arrived several days later). And then the game starts all over.

The end result: each family member/player loses approximately 4.5 pounds and countless hours of sleep and most of their dignity. Most family traditional meals will never be served again and the house will need to be scrubbed from floor to ceiling with the strongest products sitting on the grocery shelf.

I cannot recommend this diet game to anyone I care about. Even going to the gym and sweating and panting is more fun that this long, drawn-out game!

Original HASAY pounds: 135 pounds

Current weight: 129 pounds ( and a very weak stomach!)

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Blogger Casey said...

Oh no, that's terrible! Remind me never to play that game. I'm sure it's inevitable at some point thought. Um, congrats on losing weight? Good luck this week... stay well.

January 6, 2009 at 5:50 PM  
Blogger June said...

At least you probably didn't gain the 5 holiday pounds! My husband got this on a holiday cruise which is awful when the boat is kind of rough too. Hope all is well now.

January 6, 2009 at 5:59 PM  
Blogger Kristy said...

Wow...that sucks..hope you feel better soon!

January 6, 2009 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger mrsbear said...

Oh yes, I am familiar with this game. Haven't played in a while, although I recently stood by while my children played, I'm hoping it skipped my turn. It is good for moving down a pant size in a pinch.

January 6, 2009 at 6:25 PM  
Blogger Keely said...

Uh, I'll pass. Congrats - I guess - on your weight loss though?

January 6, 2009 at 6:31 PM  
Anonymous Christy said...

Yeah, see, now that's a tough one...I REALLY wanna lose the weight, but...I think I'll do it the hard way! Sorry you had to deal with that!

January 6, 2009 at 8:44 PM  
Blogger Laufa said...

Your family from FL must be related to mine - they brought their bug to my house too. Hope everyone is feeling better!!!

January 7, 2009 at 6:46 AM  
Blogger jen said...

at least you found the fun in it??

we played at my house too ... but i'm in the last group. i'm still feeling good! (knock on wood!)

my husband, though, who didn't help take care of kids while they puked ... he got it.
that'll learn ya.

January 7, 2009 at 10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least you didn't lose your sense of humor.

That sucks. Now that I have a kid it seems like we pass everything around.

January 8, 2009 at 1:19 PM  

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