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Drastic Measures

Monday, April 13, 2009

25 Reasons to Stick with Hasay Diet in Week 25

You have probably visited Casey's website and read guest poster, Jen from Steenky Bee's hilarious story about rear contests and rear gear and stupid radio contests. She made you look at your rear didn't she. I checked out the backside and has kicked me back into a stronger routine with this very special list about rear-ends:



1) Rear ends should not resemble the jowls of a basset hound;

2) A tight rear helps the fat legs look better;

3) People will see you coming and they'll watch you leaving (this was in a 80's exercise tape from a guy wearing 4" shorts);

4) 500 squats a day will produce rear results;

5) 500 lunges will also produce awesome results;

6) A hate long lists;

7) Does anyone ever read past #5 of a long list anyway?

8) Even when my rear becomes the most awesome rear in all of North Scottsdale, I will not send a copy/picture to the local radio station (I already have a gym membership!);

9) While a tight rear is a goal of mine, I don't necessarily want to be known as the 'woman with the tight rear';

10) Why don't radio stations care if men have great rears? The typical double standard is always present. It's time for women to complain;

11) I am tired of focusing on the arms anyway;

12) Also, the legs need a break, it's the rear's turn;

13) Perhaps rear gear will speed up the process of getting a tight rear;

14) If you do a handstand up against the wall and take a picture from that angle, your rear can be right where it's supposed to be;

15) A funny joke: Two rears walk into a bar from the front...WTF? Don't get it, do you? Ha, got ya. Well, most of you;

16) Good friends like Jen have us covered, even if it's Arby's fake cheesy sauce that's covering us;

17) Casey keeps us in gear and this week just happens to be 'rear gear'.

18) I lied a little earlier, or maybe I just got to thinking about it. Okay, maybe I wouldn't mind being known as the 'woman with the tight rear'. Smart and witty are sometimes overrated!

19) Can you name your 5 friends with the best rears? If so, please go to visit another site. That's kind of creepy.

20) But now that I asked you the question, I am sort of curious...

21) It's a little known fact that most of the Easter peeps that we all inhaled yesterday, goes directly to the rear, no stopping at the chest or stomach.

22) I am 'reary tired' of writing this list and have no intention of finishing it to the bitter end of # 25!



I leave you with this "happy moment" to inspire you, to depress you and to get your rear in gear:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1137883380?bctid=2065176001

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3 Comments:

Blogger FoN said...

Wow - that's a lotta rearin'. All my friends have great rears. Like, every single one of them. It's irritating. Would it kill just ONE of them to get fat?

April 13, 2009 at 5:46 PM  
Blogger Keely said...

You lost me at 500 squats. I can do like, 50.

Probably why my rear is still less than perky.

April 13, 2009 at 7:23 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

That girl in the video is way too in shape for me to look at.

I was trying to rattle off my five friends with the best butts until you told me I'm a perv. Damn.

I read number five. Does it count if I do lunges (and squats) with 60lbs of child in my arms? One would think I'd be in better shape but no.

Stop making up lists and get your tight rear on a treadmill.

April 13, 2009 at 7:28 PM  

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